Creating Self-Respect and Love
Creating and maintaining a healthy self-respect for one-self and others is a practice of self-care and self-awareness. Desire for self-awareness is critical to our effectiveness, success, and well-being. Research shows that students who score high on emotional intelligence tests are more successful in life. Studies show that these students are happier, get higher grades and go on to earn larger salaries as compared to their less aware counterparts. The more we can assist our children to respect themselves, to like themselves and to eventually love who they are, the greater will be their life experience.
A powerful way for parents to impact their child’s self-respect and awareness is to model self-respect and loving behaviour. Those who choose to be aware of how they think, how they communicate, and how they treat themselves and others, will have greater success at being a loving individual. Children will see and feel the confidence and clarity that emanates from your positive connections and self-love. It will be a characteristic that they desire, as they witness how it provides quality experiences and tranquility to their parents lives. No matter the age, hug and hold your children and tell them the truth. All beings are magnificent when they choose to be guided by love.
Let them know that growing self-respect and love is an inside job. Nobody can give you self-respect, or take it away, without your permission. Children should know that their true self-worth is not in their looks, intellect, clothes, or even in their friends. The true worth of a human being is in their own level of kindness, compassion, truth, integrity, and openness. Real confidence is in accepting one self with all our flaws and all our greatness.
All the people in this world telling us how great we are, does not make us great. Only believing in our potential puts us in the emotional and intellectual state where great self-worth flourishes and great deeds are possible.
Let’s teach our kids about negative or limiting language. Invite them to replace the “shoulda, coulda, woulda, and can’t” with language that empowers themselves and others. “I can”, “I am willing”, “I am doing”, are all ways to support oneself on our path of increasing our Emotional Intelligence.
When a child does something that is inappropriate, approach this opportunity for learning with questions that help the child to see how this behaviour impacts their self-image. For example, Justin is being rude to his sister. Instead of correcting the behaviour and creating a punishment, followed by a coerced apology. You could ask if this behaviour is showing self-respect? Are your actions displaying respect and love to your sister? Do you believe you will receive respect in return for disrespectful conduct? Then help the child to create new more respectful and empowering behaviours. Even role model an example of alternate more positive behaviours.
Parents can lead children to the water and encourage them to drink from the pool of their own wisdom. Typically they will learn more deeply and effortlessly, when they participate in the learning process. Natural consequences can be a healthy follow up in this learning approach of discipline and personal growth.
This is a process of honoring the child’s emotional intelligence and seeking the more desirable behaviour from inside them. If this concept of self-respect and self-love is going to positively impact all aspects of their lives, it will be learned more effectively and thoroughly if nurtured from within.
Sensei Chris