Excerpt from:
Bully Proof: The Gift of Self-Esteem
by Chris Leigh-Smith
Illustrations by Sabrina Niebler
Concept 20 Deflective Deterrents
It is a lazy mind that lets the body take a beating.
The art of Tongue Fu, or disarming your opponent with words, is the basis for our next set of strategies. These communication strategies require direct involvement with bullies, more so than the Initial Tactics. The bullied child requires a greater level of confidence (or at least the courage to give the false pretense of confidence). As in physical self-defense, emotional and intellectual defense can employ strategies that do not harm the bully physically or emotionally. Rather, they are designed to deflect harmful intent, to dissolve hurtful words or actions by acknowledging the truth, to derail aggression through questions, and lastly to diffuse anger with tactful humor.
As with the Initial Tactics, the Deflective Deterrents are often more effective when used in conjunction with other strategies. The bullied child becomes the master, choosing which strategy to apply and how. As these strategies are implemented with the bully, they work equally on the bullied child, disarming the ego and diminishing insecurities vulnerable to attack. By respectfully neutralizing the bully’s aggression, the bullied child reduces their own need for peer approval while boosting self-esteem. The first of these strategies is the easiest to start with; it is simple and effective and won’t take your child long to master.
…to be continued…
Read more about the book here!