Tough decisions are hard enough without adding our emotional turmoil. Often, we face difficult choices in our lives that have equally strong arguments for or against a particular direction. New information may come to light, as previous knowledge changes; thus, a once clear path becomes muddied. Initially, frustration may arise as we wish for a timely resolution so we can move on with our lives. Emotionally, we sometimes fail to grasp that uncertainty is a guaranteed part of life and an important part of our personal development. A cool demeanour, consisting of a relaxed and focused mind, along with an awareness of our desires, and emotions, is highly advantageous for making great decisions. To build inner peace, we must be willing to coach ourselves towards acceptance of uncertainty, to encourage gratitude for how time in decision making provides perspective, practicality, and conscience.
Tough decisions can tax us emotionally and intellectually, especially if we want answers quickly, decisively, and unequivocally in our best interest. It is easy for us to get distracted, lured away from seeking relevant knowledge, being impulsive, or even worse, not keeping in mind the primary reason for the choice at hand. Challenging choices and the uncertainty that tags along, can also be stimulating, and provide the mind-body growth that we need. With all choices, if we seek an honourable approach, discerning truth, and identifying the path of integrity, then our choices will bring us peace. A contented heart/mind is ours when we make conscious loving choices, even though we cannot with accuracy know the results of our actions. Every choice has its ripple effect; however, those consequences are not entirely within our control. Seldom can we control how others will react to the actions we undertake. Therefore, we must take full responsibility for our decisions. Our choices and subsequent actions must not be advocated or attributed to someone else. Otherwise, we make our decisions from the role of a victim, which results in blaming and rationalizing, rather than learning from our decision-making process.
Calm, conscious choices is the objective despite our strong emotional content due to fears and doubts. Parking our mouth and reactive actions until we have sorted through our emotions saves a lot of heart ache. Part of keeping our calm, is seeing choice as a new opportunity. Most negative stresses which affect our composure are self-induced. We inflict fear and doubt into the equation and upon ourselves by believing our happiness hinges on the outcome of our decisions. Happiness is more a product of how we walk our chosen path, and less determined by the path itself. This assumes that our path options are all honourable. Indeed, choices we make in the present affect our future. Again, becoming unhinged with fear of what might transpire, impairs our abilities to make clear and wise choices. Alternatively, we can consult our heart and mind while staying open to all relevant matters when making difficult choices. Therefore, the best we can do is to be at ease while making the decision knowing that it aligns with our values, regardless of the outcome. If we have balanced our needs with the needs of others, if our integrity supports the options that are under consideration, then regardless of our decision, inner peace will be the first of many gifts to follow.
Making informed, intelligent, and loving choices benefits those around us. Practicing an emotional and mental ease during the process of tough decisions is also crucial to our own personal health. Anxiety not only adversely affects our minds, but it eventually is also poison to our bodies. When tackling difficult choices, a state of ease also allows us greater access to the resources that we have at our disposal. Among these resources is a positive and optimistic perspective, as opposed to a fearful and cynical one. Take time to prepare an uncluttered mind that focuses on what we want, rather than concentrating exclusively on what we fear. As the saying goes, “we achieve that which we can conceive.” Create an inner coach who encourages an open heart/mind that can unbiasedly entertain the complexities and possibilities that each choice holds.
Clinging to old limiting notions or beliefs, traps us in our judgements and biases. A rigid black or white perspective corrupts the decision-making process, reducing it merely to a fear-based response. Taking time to question our values to see if they are still loving, logical, and relevant to the current situation is especially important. If we find ourselves alienating friends or family, with our choices, rules, and expectations, it is time to look deeply into the beliefs that we base our choices on. Emotional outbursts, where we have hastily spoken and behaved unwisely, reveals our frustrations, fears, and doubts. Such decisions we live to regret, and rightly so as we cause harm to ourselves and others. If time allows, breathe, let your emotions run their course. Important decisions require mindfulness of our feelings and the feelings of others, rather than a choice that is exclusively directed from our fear-based emotions. Relish the process and time that complicated choices require, speak carefully and thoughtfully, letting the heart and mind, love, and logic blend together as you exercise one of humanities treasured gifts, conscious choice.
Namaste
Instructor Chris
2021 -06-09