Living a meaningful life is synonymous with being content, although creating meaning in our lives is not always easy. The rewards are in the challenges and their necessary lessons. Perhaps our happiness is predicated on stretching our comfort zone, with learning, and making a difference in the world. At the center of meaningful goals is the relationship that we have with ourselves. I believe there is a strong correlation between living a meaningful life and high self-esteem, especially if what’s meaningful is of our own design. The opposite is true when we feel obligated to succeed under someone else's goals, as our self-worth diminishes.
Living a meaningful life could be as straightforward as striving to be the best version of ourselves. Developing impeccable thoughts, honest communication, and admirable character is a way to positively impact the world. This takes consistent awareness of our thoughts and actions and an openness to feedback from those that know us well. This path of greater consciousness requires time for self assessment. This can be achieved within our daily routines as we analyse the logic of our thoughts and the level of truthfulness and kindness in each interaction. It is beneficial to dedicate some time to being alone, without distractions. Many of us avoid solitude, where we are alone with our thoughts. Maybe we fear the landslide of self-doubt and judgement. When we slow down long enough, our limitations and need for change become painfully clear.
For many of us life can be a struggle and meaningful goals get set aside. We shift focus from forging our character to chasing security and comforts. Being comfy is nice, yet if those goals replace the goals that are needed to become a better person, then we are distracted from the meaningful. Even the rich and famous feel empty when the meaningful is absent. What is meaningful is deeply personal. Generally, the heart knows that healthy relationships, satisfying purpose, significant service, and peace of mind, are all profound goals that require quality character to achieve.
Virtues that are lacking or inconsistent can be practiced until we become the living embodiment of that quality. This is rare, for it is easier to talk about the importance of patience, humility, compassion, and the like, and much more difficult to live these qualities. We may express patience when it is convenient, or show humility when we are feeling secure, and compassion to those we favour, however that is not true character until it is tested under adversity. Yet we all gotta start somewhere, even if the hurdle to do right is small, it’s a beginning. Over time if we keep practicing, we may become a patient person. Regardless of our superficial wants, despite our tiredness, mood, or negative judgements, our patience will eventually provide relief to those in need. This is the process, the journey of virtuosity despite hard times, that we must all take to be the person of our dreams, the expression in life to which we aspire.
Without pursuit of personal growth, comfort becomes a trap. The couch and its accompanied host of tec devices, can steal away our time for learning opportunities. Learning about ourselves, particularly in the areas where change is scary and most needed, is the path we often avoid. Rather than building on our qualities it is easier to create busyness and neglect the practice that nurtures our humanity. It doesn’t help that many of us feel alone in this endeavour. Few of us have supportive mentors who have taught us how to grow in thoughtfulness. The inward journey is typically overlooked as society pushes us towards endless material attainment to satisfy our need for happiness. Nonetheless, financial savvy can go hand in hand with self awareness and wisdom. We can have deep pockets and deep souls. It is not what we have or don’t have that allows us to practice considerate and wise action. Opportunities to exercise our values under arduous conditions will come to us all. Will we wait till there is a more convenient time, make excuses, and justifications to withhold meaningful actions? Or will we risk moving forward and become a powerful force of kindness?
Too often I have held myself to a flexible standard, letting my values rise up only when I was feeling strong and confident. Fortunately, life provided me with feedback in the form of emotional regret when I did not act fully in accordance with my beliefs. Pain compels us to change, and our humanity is hard won as lessons learned often come at a price. Pain such as, loss of trust, and damaged friendships is not the only way to learn. Although heart ache is a great teacher, there are easier more direct ways to self-awareness.
Prior to television, tablets, phones, and gaming, people sought solus in nature to make sense of life’s hardships. Perhaps this provided us more time to look within, to identify meaningful goals and to contemplate how to materialize them. The world has changed greatly, yet our ability to become successful in character and business are now even more attainable. By accessing online the endless stream of information and inspiration, we can tune into information and guidance over mindless entertainment.
Start small or big, its your choice, but encourage and discipline yourself to sacrifice some technology time to invest in self-awareness. A few moments each day is all that is needed to develop mindfulness. Before going to sleep I practice answering questions that give insight into my current behaviours and life objectives. If this appeals to you, contemplate the following questions, rotating them through the week or month in order to provide yourself with personal feedback for your meaningful goals.
Bed time questions to activate awareness and to motivate meaningful actions:
1. Was I mindful of my thoughts today? Were my thoughts positive and supportive or negative and limiting?
2. How did I interact with others today, was I connecting or avoiding, truthful or evasive?
3. Did I provide self-regulation, advocate for myself, and in general give adequate self-care that nurtures my intellect, emotional and physical needs?
4. Am I allowing fun, humour, and creativity to enrich my life?
5. How is my ethical behaviour, or level of integrity matching my code of conduct?
6. Today did I pursue some learning, reading, listening, or practicing? Did I take action towards supporting by dreams or vision?
7. Was I in service to others in some way, no matter how small or large, did I attempt to elevate another human being?
During our sleep we integrate our experiences, therefore a review of the day with attention to our character gives us direction for a nighttime of processing. As we strive to live our virtues, we support others. In our desire to make the meaningful real, we grow inner peace and become a force for good.
Namaste,
Chris Leigh-Smith