In today’s world of high-tech conveniences like robotics and automation, it can be challenging to
provide children with meaningful chores that teach responsibility and service. Growing up, I had
a never-ending list of farm chores posted on the fridge, and rainy days felt like a rare escape to
explore the countryside. Many children today lack these work-life experiences that once shaped
Character.
Life evolves, as do the experiences that define each generation. While no single group can
claim ownership of entitlement, many parents, grandparents, and teachers feel that entitlement
issues are increasingly common. At the same time, children today demonstrate remarkable
skills, from athletics to academics, often developing talents at an extraordinary rate.
Understanding Entitlement
Entitlement describes a mindset of feeling deserving of privileges or outcomes without earning
them. This attitude often stems from bestowed privileges, excessive pampering, or an
environment where effort isn’t required. It’s enabled by parents, schools, consumerism, and
societal norms that prioritize convenience over character-building.
When children are shielded from chores, allowed to skip gratitude, or pampered excessively,
they risk becoming dependent and unresourceful. Entitlement can range from mild selfishness
to a pervasive belief that “the world owes me.” This mindset often leads to low self-esteem, as
entitled children may feel incapable of self-reliance.
How Did We Get Here?
Historically, children contributed significantly to family life, developing skills and self-worth
through responsibility. Today, various factors contribute to entitlement:
Parents avoiding confrontation by saying “yes” too often.
Diminished quality time between parents and children, including time spent on shared
chores.
Overcompensation for guilt, such as post-divorce pampering.
Lack of discipline or clear boundaries.
These trends have eroded the role of parents as respected leaders and nurtured a “me over we”
mentality in some children.
Teaching Responsibility and Gratitude
To combat entitlement and encourage a sense of gratitude, families can adopt these principles:
Stop enabling: Teach children to do what they can for themselves. Guiding them through tasks helps build competence and confidence.
Set expectations: Each family member contributes to the household, fostering a sense of teamwork.
Distinguish requests from demands: Teach children that “no” is a valid response to a request and encourage respectful disagreement.
Avoid transactional relationships: Paying children for chores shifts the focus from gratitude to monetary reward. Instead, teach intrinsic motivation.
Teach money management: Allowances can help children learn budgeting, saving, and giving back.
Let natural consequences happen: Allow children to experience the outcomes of their
actions—positive or negative—while supporting them in learning from their experiences.
Role Modeling Ethical Negotiation
Children often learn negotiation from their families. Parents who model fairness and empathy
teach their children to seek win-win outcomes. Ask reflective questions like:
“Would you like to be treated the way you’re treating me?”
“Is your approach fair to everyone involved?”
“Are you creating a win-win situation?”
Creating a Grateful, Contributing Family
Gratitude and responsibility are cultivated through shared work and purpose. From small tasks
like making beds to larger projects like volunteering, children thrive when they see their
contributions matter. For example, my grandchildren regularly volunteer at a soup kitchen, a
gratitude-building experience that strengthens family bonds.
By engaging children in meaningful tasks, families foster a connection that outweighs the allure
of endless screen time and digital distractions. It’s never too late to start. Through teaching, role
modeling, and shared experiences, we can nurture children who give more than they take and
appreciate the rewards of effort and collaboration.
In life, we reap what we sow. Let’s teach children to give generously, live gratefully, and grow
into capable, connected individuals.
Namaste
Instructor Chris