Imagine we are a flag, and the wind is our life’s experiences. When life is calm, we reflect stillness, we are relaxed, collected, centered, and feeling in control of ourselves. When life is hectic, we are flapping in reaction to life’s windstorm of arduous challenges. Unsettled, stressed, blown about, and feeling out of control as the wind tests and defies our inner peace. The constant stress of life’s turmoil, tears at the very fabric of our mind, disturbing our confidence and creating anxiety, doubt, and fear. As the wind of life’s experiences slows to a gentle breeze, our anxiety often remains, vibrating just under the surface, as we worry about the next storm.
Being unflappable is nothing to do with controlling the wind or being indifferent to life experiences. In our lives we have influence, attraction, perspective, and choice, but very little control. What we do have is our abundant ability to respond to life experiences with logic and love. It involves being aware of our thinking, eliminating illogical thoughts while questioning if our thoughts are more centered on love or fear. Next is our mindfulness to evaluate if our inner voice and communication with others is kind and truthful. Finally, we can assess our behaviour and its resulting consequences to determine if our actions are in alignment with our values. Our path to serenity is geared around awareness of how we behave towards our selves and others. It doesn’t take a lot of time, yet it requires a desire to be thoughtful, considerate, and the willingness to evaluate personal experiences by looking at our selves first. Taking responsibility for our behaviour is a must, without giving others the power to make us feel or act in ways that are not who we wish to be. Allotting people, the capacity to control us is an excuse, illogical, and leaves us helpless to change. Happiness dictates us owning our thoughts, feelings, and choices.
Thus, being unflappable, dependable, consistently good natured, steady and at peace, is an inside job and within our control. Therefore, although we have little control over how life unfolds, we do have control over how we chose to perceive and respond to life. It begins with honesty in our thoughts, words, and actions. When the wind blows adversity our way, we can take it personally, like the world is against us. But that thought is illogical, a lie that we accept to provide excuses for our circumstances. Challenging the truth of thoughts like; there are lucky people and unlucky people, graced individuals who live a charmed life and those who are condemned to struggle, is a necessary mental exercise in cultivating our logical heart and mind. Thoughts that abdicate our responsibility to others gives us permission to quit, to fail without learning, but they are a trap that limits our growth. By challenging our old beliefs or persistent thoughts, we put the lies that limit us to rest. Another lie is that we are a success, or we are a failure. Failure or success is not an identity, they are not what defines us. Failure and success are our experiences, which usually come in that order. Failing and learning from failure is required for success. That mindset, builds perseverance, determination, resiliency, and a positive unflappable attitude which transforms our blundering into feelings of self-contentment. We can not have one without the other. Failures, setbacks, total reboots are part of the journey that leads to experiencing personal success. Allowing our minds to dwell on being upset, demonizing, or blaming our circumstances, allows the wind to toss us about, distracting us from learning. When we recognize that our mind is focused on passing the buck, complaining, and blaming, then we are on the right track. When we assess our thoughts, tune them to be more logical, more truthful, we will see all adversity as opportunity for learning, which creates that unflappable demeanour.
What is the value of being unflappable? When we are less reactive, calmer, problems are taken in stride while we access more of our potential. The victim mindset is replaced with optimism and creativity. This positive approach allows us to see solutions and resources that frustration and fear had previously blocked. Our vision is open, willing, humble, and ready for the challenges that undoubtedly will come our way. The more we practice this mindset the more organic it becomes, until there is no need to counsel ourselves along this path, as our unflappable nature will automatically rise to meet any adversity.
Namaste
Instructor Chris