Being able to observe life from multiple perspectives deepens understanding, increases tolerance, and diminishes biases. Awareness that our knowledge and understanding of life’s complexities is fairly limited, motivates us to seek different points of view. Especially during stressful situations people routinely get caught up in their doubts. We become defensive and have difficulty seeing the forest from the trees. The big picture is often lost when we feel failure, as we struggle to detach from our own expectations. The more accumulated strain weighs on us, the quicker we find ourselves fighting stress related symptoms by engaging in distractions, like medicating with food, drugs, and electronics. Adults and children may fall into the trap of being a victim, instead of learning, we blame ourselves or others. If this looks or sounds familiar, there is a way to pause, step back and allow detached observations to create awareness, this is the objective of the balcony view.
Right and wrong are labels generated by our perspective. Is arsenic good or bad for you? Ingest too much of this poison and you die. This knowledge is indeed helpful, and for those who wish to live, arsenic is considered bad. On the other hand, if you are desperately trying to avoid being captured alive, to avoid torture and inevitable execution, ingesting arsenic is good. Good and bad are situationally dependent. Narrow perspectives produce black or white conclusion, whereas broader views deliver many shades of grey and a spectrum of possibilities. Therefore, to avoid tunnel vision which focuses only on the problem, we can learn to relax and see problems as creative opportunities for growth. This is achieved more easily when we mentally pull ourselves away from the turmoil and take time to calmly assess from a distance.
Those who know everything have nothing to learn. This pride is fueled by the need to be recognized as knowledgeable, thus ego blinds our view. We become unaware, stagnant, and ignorant of many things. Even the advantage of a balcony view will not help us detect what we are unwilling to see. Several sayings come to mind: “Only a fool doesn’t realize that they are a fool”, or “The more we learn, the more we realize how little we know.” These adages suggest that we all think and do foolish things. The quicker we recognize this the more capable we are at accepting and capitalizing on our mistakes. The second saying indicates that learning is an endless journey. Acquisition of knowledge does not guarantee wisdom, truth, or love, however, applying what we have learned, creates positive change.
A detached and unbiased observation provides an open-minded person with a more holistic or balanced understanding. However, even the balcony view cannot anticipate the infinite perspectives and prospects that life offers. Accepting that we do not always know what the right answers is for ourselves, let alone others, is essential to keeping an open mind. We may have a sense of right or wrong that pertains to us however, if we attempt to impose our view of right or wrong onto others, we meet resistance. There is less inclination to control others when we acknowledge that we seldom have the full story. Knowing desires and past conditioning may cause us to be prejudiced, encourages us to make the effort to seek the bigger picture. Insecurities also influence and twist our best intentions into choices we regret. Stepping away, even if only momentarily, from our predicament and quietly observing ourselves, will unearth many limiting fears. This practice is about recognizing the truth, no judgements or harsh criticism is needed, just awareness of how we are thinking and behaving. When we give ourselves the opportunity to separate from the problem it is easier to distinguish reality from the drama. This is why the balcony view is so profound.
Wisdom necessitates us to understand ourselves philosophically. To accomplish this, we are invited to spend time evaluating the beliefs and values we profess to live by, while cross referencing them with our actual behaviours. This reflection on what we say we value compared to our true behaviour reveals the real values that guide us. It is this self cross examination that enlightens us. Seeking the higher ground, assessing what’s the greatest good for the greatest number, takes time. The balcony is not just for looking out, it is also for gazing within. Removing oneself from the drama and observing our reactions, sharpens our self awareness and emotional intelligence, which is crucial in life’s journey.
We need various perspectives more than we realize. It takes humility, vulnerability, and openness to pause and reflect on how we treat others, ourselves, and how we formulate responses to life’s difficulties. Pausing prior to making impactful decisions allows us time to break the cycle of emotionally charged and impulsive actions that have sabotaged us in the past. When stress hits the fan, practice being quiet until the truth of the moment reveals something worthy. The balcony view shows us that our truth is not always shared by others. Use the balcony view as the initial observation to gain insights, yet to fully understand we must follow up with listening. Listening often requires asking meaningful questions of ourselves and others. Asking questions implies that learning for us is more important than the desire to appear knowledgeable. This is where openness and vulnerability will produce trust and compassion with others.
Beliefs, values, and knowledge are acquired over a lifetime, formed through the unique lens of personal experience. It is reasonable to assume that others will see, feel, and believe differently than we do. Our world is small, our minds are smaller still. If we hold tight to personal opinion without seeking alternatives, without being open to opposing ideas, then our worldliness and consciousness will remain unevolved. The balcony view teaches us to appreciate the vast diversity of experiences, and beliefs, as they help us to gain insight into a bigger, more inclusive, and loving world.
Namaste,
Chris Leigh-Smith