Dealing with Problems
As my principal Jim Toews use to say, “There are no problems, only creative opportunities.” Opportunities are often disguised as tough problems. Some problems overwhelm us, and we find it difficult to believe that on the other side of tough, is a silver lining. Belief is critical. Believing that problems are happening to hurt us, rather than for us, means we are taking the problem personally. That’s when we lose sight of potential silver linings. Believing that unfortunate events occur to unfortunate people, blinds us to the opportunities because we don’t trust that they exist. Believing that problems are only horrible with no benefit, turns us into victims.
The regular upside to problems is that we learn more about life and about ourselves in the process of dealing with the challenges that confront us. When we choose to believe that problems happen for us, that belief encourages us to learn, adapt, and grow as a result of life’s trials. If our belief is one of hope, and optimism, then all problems that are presented to us will give rise to new abilities, turning problems into opportunities. The attitude to cultivate is that adversity makes us stronger, forges our character, and empowers our potential. Belief is the foundation that allows our choices to transform hardships into valuable experiences.
Problems are inevitable. They are necessary to keep us growing and moving forward. Happiness is not the absence of problems. Happiness is embracing challenges, rather than avoiding or medicating our way around them. We are happiest when we are aligned with our values, when we are authentic to our true selves, even when times are tough. Being authentic is only tested through adversity. Otherwise, we truly do not know our character.
Tony Robins offers some perspective on dealing with problems. He invites us to recognise that problems are not permanent, pervasive, or personal. Generally, problems come and go, rarely becoming a constant hurdle. Even when a problem strikes and becomes our new reality, like the loss of a friend, a limb, or our job, we learn to accept, to adapt, and eventually to overcome and become stronger despite the initial loss. Thinking that our problems will become permanent fixtures in our lives, crushes hope and motivation to learn and grow.
Problems are also not pervasive. Having one difficulty, does not make the rest of our lives unbearable. We may be experiencing an unhealthy relationship, suffering a broken heart, yet we are physically strong, love our job, and are grateful for supportive friends. One bad apple doesn’t have to spoil the whole bunch, unless we believe it does. Take inventory on all the goodness in our lives. Be as grateful for the little blessings as we are of the big miracles. Take nothing for granted. It is easier to face life’s tough moments and to accept what we don’t have, when we appreciate what we do have.
Seeing adversities as a personal attack on our self-worth, diminishes our inner resources. The most arduous situations rely on our ability to believe in our worth. Self love and respect, despite our flaws, is essential in conquering our greatest challenge. That challenge that we all face from time to time, is self doubt. The problems that we create and the difficulties that find us, are not personal attacks, they are gifts. For without struggle, we can not realize our full potential.
Namaste
Chris