Wisdom - how do we learn and earn insight, and how do we encourage children to value applied knowledge? Stories are common about children seeking wisdom from their parents and grandparents, or a young entrepreneur getting mentored by a seasoned businessperson. There are also contrasting stories where parents, teachers, and coaches are mocked for being outdated and possessing little relevant value. In some cultures, parents and grandparents are revered elders. These elders may not dress in the latest fashion, listen to modern music, or speak the nuances of their children’s generation. Typically, elders are less comfortable with computers and do not understand the endless references of social media that entertain our youth. Their value and connection are not about fitting in, being accepted, or in having common interests. Elders create connection through shared life experience and undying kindness. Elders connect with love and respect, even when that love and respect is not reciprocal.
An important question is, do your kids value your counsel, do they seek the wisdom of others and their challenging perspectives? In order for parents to nurture children to value information, candor, and experiences that will illuminate wise actions, we need to become a treasured mentor or elder. It would be remiss to believe that children only want quick answers. They need relationships with elders to develop trust in themselves, to know that they are capable of wisdom. From interactions with elders, they learn the importance of unbiased information, opposing viewpoints and pausing to check in with their emotions. Elders provide a safe place for youth to touch base with their love and logic. These relationships create resiliency and confidence in youth, so that they begin to understand that all we can do is our best, in each moment and in each decision.
Elders have common traits that distinguish them as being a valuable asset to the next generation. Elders make themselves available. Elders create time to listen and have no time to judge. They share experiences, painful failures, and riveting adventures effortlessly. Elders don’t just share ideas; they involve youth by wrapping them up in the gift of their vulnerability. Elders question youth in supportive ways, putting aside their personal agendas. They are inquisitive and caring and willing to let youth go through the pain that hones wisdom over time. Elders accept youth as they are, and where they are at. Despite setbacks, they trust in children’s greatness, which unlocks imaginations, stirs hopes, and expands dreams.
It would be unfair to characterize elders as superior beings who have all the right answers. One size fits all solutions rarely exists. Being the keeper of wisdom is not a pretense elders can afford, nor is ego. Youth sees through such facades. Elders are ordinary people who provide extraordinary service by being present, honest, and open to those around them. Elders don’t quit, even when the seeker does. Persistently patient, they instill positive belief, because that is what they give over and over. Given the chance, young people seek truth above shallowness; popularity, meaningless distractions, or relationships formed for only their personal gain. Naturally, this perspective is not true of all youth, yet in their own time, most youth will rise to meet the challenges, especially when patient elders believe in their highest potential.
It is a common sentiment that parents feel like imposters when they step into the role of being an elder. When someone is trusting you with stuff that is real and raw about them, they have dispelled the notion of you as an imposter, for they have chose you as their elder. We too must rise to the occasion and believe in our ability to have something of value, to share. Regardless of culture, social status, religion or era, kids need elders and elders need the eager hearts and minds of children who will complete this beautiful cycle of wisdom and become elders themselves.
The highest form of wisdom is kindness.
Instructor Chris
Sometimes simplicity is too simple. Some situations require complicated means to achieve the best result. However, generally speaking, simple is best. As we age life often feels increasingly complicated. There is more information in our heads, we have more responsibilities, more dependents, and we may have more possessions to maintain. All this translates into greater worries about gain and loss. Maybe this is why some choose to uncomplicate life by living simply.