Viewing entries tagged
emotions
From screen doors to tinted windows, filters are plenty helpful. On the other hand, conscious or unconscious mental filters might need replacing. Mental filters that only recognize information or experiences that are familiar or convenient and which disregard the unknown are problematic, limiting our personal growth.
Most children, adults too, will test boundaries set by parents, or other authorities. We defy rules for many reasons. Establishing independence by resisting outside influences, conforming to peer pressure for social gains, and the all-powerful desire to learn through our own personal experiences. For some of us, assenting to untested rules imposed by others, simply goes against our grain. Children stray beyond their parent’s rules to test if the previous generations restrictions truly apply to them.
If we are smiling inside, we glow on the outside. If sad on the inside, a cloud shades our normal sunny disposition. We do not need to hide our feelings from others, however if we wish to accentuate the positives, it is important to smile on the outside even when we are troubled on the inside. Our chemical makeup matters. Emotions influence our chemical state, which has a direct impact on our health. It is important to recognize our emotions, learn from them, but then move past feelings that can become toxic over time. Let optimism and hope seep into our hearts and sooth our troubled minds. As the saying goes, ‘as within, so without’, our mental influence flows in both directions. Body language, mood, health, and disease are profoundly impacted by our thoughts. To place a smile on our lips when we are upset, awakens our optimism and hope. To giggle or belly laugh when we are in pain, lessens our suffering.
Restore interrupted joy by not concentrating on our pain. Stubbing our toe results in pain that signals us to avoid doing this again. When someone is yelling at you over the phone, we can politely hang up. We can also hang up on our pain signals. Once we have heard the bodies message that we are causing harm, we’ve got it. There is no need to replay it. Emotional confusion, mental anguish, our inner critic, are all flowing inside, affecting our bodies. Holding on to pain like anger or resentment causes toxicity within, thus anger destroys the vessel that contains it. Projecting or expressing our anger in harmful ways creates even more toxicity, within us and others. The goal is to not ignore pain messages while also learning not to magnify or dwell on our pain.
Learning is not always painful, and it typically is not comfortable either. Pain is inevitable, yet we do not have to suffer by languishing in our destress. Replaying our failures while degrading oneself for past choices, does not address the issue. It is self-imposed punishment. Learning can be accomplished by facing our pain and then letting it go. Seek the answers to issues with peace, acceptance, and forgiveness inside. If our peace is crumbling within, flow gratitude, confidence, and happiness on the outside. Is this a distraction or a re-set button? Does it re- focus us away from our pain? Can we then explore the root cause of our suffering? Either way, summoning up a more positive disposition creates an advantage of optimism and hope. If we are emotionally wrapped up in fear, or anger, then our rational mind is impaired. Our ability to bring to the table valuable resources to deal with the issue is diminished, as the mind is not open, and our thoughts are dominated by fear. The angry mind is like a flower that has closed its pedals to protect itself from the outside elements. Once we acknowledge our fear and anger, we can open our minds to focus on solutions, understanding, compassion and connection.
When scared on the inside, smiling on the outside can free the mind, allowing it to progress forward. Einstein, shared with us that in order to solve a problem we need to utilize a different mind than the one that caused that problem in the first place. Problems can be made up of external adversities like a flood, or tornado. Our day-to-day problems are more typically a result of our choices and their resulting consequences. Effects of poor choices can cause just pain, or we can include learning opportunities. Sometimes our choices result in wonderful outcomes, and we fear we are a fraud, that we will not be able to live up to our success. Even great choices can result in mental strife. Addressing the core issue leads us to greater awareness which promotes wiser choices. Therefore, when we are struggling on the inside it is important to assist our minds and our internal chemistry to aid us in rising above being stuck. Regardless, if it is physical pain or the result of mental anxiety, break the cycle of rehashing it. When distress hits, force a grin, not to fool others, but to remind yourself to be optimistic, to be hopeful, it’s a learning process.
Namaste Instructor Chris
Children are our privilege not our legacy. Directing our children to live a life that fulfills our desires and diminishes our fears, is a recipe for growing resentments. We can however, aim to inspire them with our philosophy and lead them with our positive life choices, while still respecting that they are unique individuals. Having kids abide by our rules while they reside with us, can be partnered with respecting their unique perspectives, desires and expression in life.
Our kids will see life through their own lens, and are happiest if they are allowed to follow their hearts, passion, and individual beliefs. Wise parents resist molding their children into mini versions of themselves, rather, they encourage independent thinking and authentic expression of self, realizing that this path enhances potential greatness and inner peace.
Namaste,
Instructor Chris
Ang is kind, considerate and generous. She’s always thinking of how to help others. Ang also doubts herself and is unsure of her value. Her self-talk reflects fears about her worth. Ang, like us all, is a captive listener to her own thinking. Her negative thoughts reinforce the belief that she is not good enough.
There has always been good and bad, hot and cold and up and down. We are often reminded that opposites bring balance to the universe. It seems normal that left needs right, and our crops need both sun and rain. But do we really need unethical people who do unspeakable deeds to know what is right and to take right action? Perhaps, maybe, time will tell.
In today’s world of high-tech conveniences like robotics and automation, it can be challenging to provide children with meaningful chores that teach responsibility and service. Growing up, I had a never-ending list of farm chores posted on the fridge, and rainy days felt like a rare escape to explore the countryside. Many children today lack these work-life experiences that once shaped character.
Kids need to hear the straight goods regarding their behaviour, for without parents honest feedback they will continue to develop limiting thoughts and habits. If we are honest without being harsh, if we can share observations in a respectful and compassionate way, children will more likely take the time to truly look at themselves. Without a strong intention for self development, and in the absence of loving mentors, children will still learn, but at a much slower rate. Life’s lessons will tend to be more confusing and more painful. Children can better muster the courage it takes to be vulnerable and open to honest feedback from others when they have a foundation of acceptance and love from their caregivers. Children who learn to value transparent coaching will grow in maturity beyond their years.
From screen doors to tinted windows, filters are plenty helpful. On the other hand, conscious or unconscious mental filters might need replacing. Mental filters that only recognize information or experiences that are familiar or convenient and which disregard the unknown are problematic, limiting our personal growth.
People can become victims of crimes, diseases, or of bullish behaviour, yet they do have to act like a victim. Taking on the victim role is rooted in the belief that solutions lie outside of ourselves. In the case of a bullied person, the victim often feels the problem is only solved when the bully changes or is taken to task. However, if bullies suddenly changed their mean ways, we would not be presented with opportunities to become stronger. Because of bullies and adversities, we can learn to be assertive, resilient, confident, and trusting in our self worth. Aggressors rarely disappear at the first hint of disapproval, especially when we play the victim role.
Someone shared with me, that if you want to be helpful, be interested rather than trying to be interesting. Instead of impressing people, be present with them. When we want to reach out to see if someone needs a lift or a save, loose the charm and lead from your heart. Instantly, our contact becomes real, not predictable and superficial. Depending on the recipient, meaningful connections will either repel some or be a refreshing and welcomed alternative. Polite small talk has it’s place, however, be aware of signals that indicate a greater need.
True confidence is not a result of being recognized or valued by others. Being acknowledged for who you are or admired by others is wonderful, yet it is not a source of viable confidence. When we are secure enough to allow others to see our authentic selves, the good with the bad, then true confidence is ours.
Although rules are necessary, they need to be adaptive to our changing situations. Children eventually learn that rules are often modified or ignored. However, for young children rules keep them safe. Don’t touch the stove, don’t talk to strangers, always look twice before crossing the street. Having rules that provide the less experienced a chance to gain experience without dying first, is not a bad thing. So why are rules destined to be broken? Rules are generally simple, like an on - off switch. Yet, most of life’s choices exist somewhere between completely on and completely off.
During this time of heightened health concerns, we look to strengthen our immune systems. The obvious practices, like getting adequate rest and quality sleep, along with a healthy diet, are vital for a strong defense system. During this adjustment to a pandemic, the very things that we employ to keep our kids and ourselves strong and resilient now, undoubtedly are healthy lifestyle habits that impact quality of life at any point in time.
Emotional awareness and increased understanding of how to deal with uneasy emotions, is crucial to creating a healthy chemical state. Letting our kids know that under stress our brains kick in the Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS), which focuses heavily on negative occurrences for survival. Events that are unexpected, or that are not our preferences suddenly become major agitators. Coupled with ignoring or denying our feelings, kids and adults may dwell in the SNS state which creates a negative cycle, both chemically, thought wise, and in reactive behaviour.
Giving our kids and ourselves time to connect with our emotional content helps us to keep our brains in the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS). The PNS will help us to keep perspective and to flow with chemicals that draw us more towards the positive attributes of life. Emotional awareness and engagement of our PNS can be aided through ‘walks and talks’, meditation practice, or unscheduled check ins with children or partners on their most positive and most unsettling emotions for that day or week. Pauses and focusing on slow intentional breathing also activates PNS and thoughtfulness. Emotional intelligence can be heightened by incorporating family time to discuss dreams and nightmares, fears, and hopes. After a family meal, sitting on the end of child’s bed at bedtime, or those moments when the child’s need is clear that difficult emotions are on the rise, provide that much needed time to download feelings first and then to apply love and logic to our go forward plans. This attention to our emotional state sends the message to our children that emotional awareness and learning about ourselves by dealing positively with our feelings, is a healthy practice.
Namaste,
Instructor Chris
Sometimes simplicity is too simple. Some situations require complicated means to achieve the best result. However, generally speaking, simple is best. As we age life often feels increasingly complicated. There is more information in our heads, we have more responsibilities, more dependents, and we may have more possessions to maintain. All this translates into greater worries about gain and loss. Maybe this is why some choose to uncomplicate life by living simply.
Ang is kind, considerate and generous. She’s always thinking of how to help others. Ang also doubts herself and is unsure of her value. Her self-talk reflects fears about her worth. Ang, like us all, is a captive listener to her own thinking. Her negative thoughts reinforce the belief that she is not good enough.
There has always been good and bad, hot and cold and up and down. We are often reminded that opposites bring balance to the universe. It seems normal that left needs right, and our crops need both sun and rain. But do we really need unethical people who do unspeakable deeds to know what is right and to take right action? Perhaps, maybe, time will tell.
In today’s world of high-tech conveniences like robotics and automation, it can be challenging to provide children with meaningful chores that teach responsibility and service. Growing up, I had a never-ending list of farm chores posted on the fridge, and rainy days felt like a rare escape to explore the countryside. Many children today lack these work-life experiences that once shaped character.
Kids need to hear the straight goods regarding their behaviour, for without parents honest feedback they will continue to develop limiting thoughts and habits. If we are honest without being harsh, if we can share observations in a respectful and compassionate way, children will more likely take the time to truly look at themselves. Without a strong intention for self development, and in the absence of loving mentors, children will still learn, but at a much slower rate. Life’s lessons will tend to be more confusing and more painful. Children can better muster the courage it takes to be vulnerable and open to honest feedback from others when they have a foundation of acceptance and love from their caregivers. Children who learn to value transparent coaching will grow in maturity beyond their years.
From screen doors to tinted windows, filters are plenty helpful. On the other hand, conscious or unconscious mental filters might need replacing. Mental filters that only recognize information or experiences that are familiar or convenient and which disregard the unknown are problematic, limiting our personal growth.
People can become victims of crimes, diseases, or of bullish behaviour, yet they do have to act like a victim. Taking on the victim role is rooted in the belief that solutions lie outside of ourselves. In the case of a bullied person, the victim often feels the problem is only solved when the bully changes or is taken to task. However, if bullies suddenly changed their mean ways, we would not be presented with opportunities to become stronger. Because of bullies and adversities, we can learn to be assertive, resilient, confident, and trusting in our self worth. Aggressors rarely disappear at the first hint of disapproval, especially when we play the victim role.
Someone shared with me, that if you want to be helpful, be interested rather than trying to be interesting. Instead of impressing people, be present with them. When we want to reach out to see if someone needs a lift or a save, loose the charm and lead from your heart. Instantly, our contact becomes real, not predictable and superficial. Depending on the recipient, meaningful connections will either repel some or be a refreshing and welcomed alternative. Polite small talk has it’s place, however, be aware of signals that indicate a greater need.
True confidence is not a result of being recognized or valued by others. Being acknowledged for who you are or admired by others is wonderful, yet it is not a source of viable confidence. When we are secure enough to allow others to see our authentic selves, the good with the bad, then true confidence is ours.
Although rules are necessary, they need to be adaptive to our changing situations. Children eventually learn that rules are often modified or ignored. However, for young children rules keep them safe. Don’t touch the stove, don’t talk to strangers, always look twice before crossing the street. Having rules that provide the less experienced a chance to gain experience without dying first, is not a bad thing. So why are rules destined to be broken? Rules are generally simple, like an on - off switch. Yet, most of life’s choices exist somewhere between completely on and completely off.
Sometimes simplicity is too simple. Some situations require complicated means to achieve the best result. However, generally speaking, simple is best. As we age life often feels increasingly complicated. There is more information in our heads, we have more responsibilities, more dependents, and we may have more possessions to maintain. All this translates into greater worries about gain and loss. Maybe this is why some choose to uncomplicate life by living simply.